Military Mom #3

Coming Home

 

When you hear that your son/daughter might be returning home you start to get excited and a bit anxious because you want to believe the date is confirmed and you can anticipate a “home coming”. During the beginning stages of the Iraqi war – of course there was the disturbing war news but turmoil was everywhere with many unanswered questions for the military families.

 

The second time my son was in the Middle East and I heard that he was coming home, I could tell he was ready to come home and was really looking forward to boarding the plane that would take him home.  But, twice we were disappointed – and IT IS A BIG disappointment – for you LONG to see them (son or daughter) again and for them to be back on safe soil.  At that time, his tour was lengthened for another month and then the second disappointment came when he was told he was going home and he was all packed, ready to board the plane, but his orders were changed again!.  When the time finally DID arrive for him to board the plane, he said he didn’t actually believe it was happening until the plane was up in the air and pointed in the right direction.  It still took some time before it really sank in that he was actually going HOME!  So YOU (the parent) too have to learn you can’t get too excited when you hear he/she is coming home because plans can always change – even at the last minute!

 

When I went to pick him up at the hotel where his commander dropped him off, I waited for hours and as I sat I would anticipate what he would look like: Has he changed much? Will he be the same person I’ve always known? Will he need counseling to recover from what he’s been through? And of course there’s always that one thought you don’t want to even consider – has he been wounded in any way?. If he had been wounded, I knew he wouldn’t have been able to tell me and just knowing my son, he would not have told me ahead of time anyway, for he wouldn’t want to worry me unnecessarily.  So I asked myself, “If something has happened, am I prepared for that? – and just how DO I prepare for THAT????.”  Military parents have to live with NOT knowing on a day to day basis and this aspect of the reality of war is no different.

 

So as I sat waiting for him to come through the door, a HOST of questions came to my mind as I watched each and every – body that walked through the door,  just knowing that my son may be the next one I might see.  Your eyes don’t leave that space – your eyes search for their eyes so you can see them face to face – eyeball to eyeball.  Your heart LONGS to see his face – no matter what!!

 

I put up a “Welcome Home” sign and wondered if I should tell his friends who wanted to see him too, if it’s OK to drop by, or will he need some time alone.  All these questions go through your mind, especially the one that you wonder about the most – ‘Will he be the same psychologically?’  Then too, you know he was carrying a firearm, ‘Did he have to use it?’ ‘What was the war REALLY like?’, ‘What was his mission exactly – his part in defending our country?’ ‘How dangerous was it on the war front?’ ‘Was the food good?(or will he come home skin-and-bones)’, ‘Did any bombs go off close to him?’ – your thoughts go every which way and you know you won’t be able to ask any of these questions – at least not right away.  Your curiosity will have to wait – for now, you only concentrate on the thrill of having him HOME.